Be Careful

You want to know what my day is looking like

No, you don’t. You really do not wanna know

If I had to describe my day in a color

It would never be a blue day

Violet is too tender

The only color I see and feel is red

I want to say

F U C K ,,,Y O U

because I feel it so deep in my soul

There is no other word that can suffice how my day is going

I can’t plaster a funny smile

I can’t beg the light twinkle in my eyes just now

and tenderness coming from these lips

It’s not the day or the time

You may be wondering what set me off

It could be just waking up

It could be just doing the mundane everyday things

I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t give a shit at this particular moment

I think it’s a blessing right now that I am alone in this place

because I can’t say that I’m just feeling pain

It’s pain mixed with anger, mixed with absolute helplessness

I just want to hurt you

hurt you so bad that you feel exactly like I do

What the fuck, the thing about this whole thing is

When this all subsides

I’ll be the one who wants to help you through it

“Be careful with the quiet ones.”

It doesn’t only mean sexually

Yeah, it’s not a good day for me

So, I’m going to stay quiet

Clench my teeth

Keep tapping my leg

just hoping that this day will end that much quicker

(Not always a good day)

Mistaken Tears

Some say that tears, when shed, are healing

Why don’t I feel healed then

I can tell you why

But will you accept the truth

Accepting responsibility

and showing that you understand

Are the steps to move forward

There is a problem here

Deep rooted

Like an old tree in the middle of the woods

stands tall, but the inside is rotted

These tears, you have mistaken for sorrow

Let me clarify

They are rage

They escape, so I do not lash out

Do not nod your head as if you understand

Do not make any excuses

An excuse is just an excuse

I’m not one to forgive twice

I believe that’s where we all go wrong

Forgiveness is a grace given

I have just so much grace to give

Once these tears stop

and my nails stopped digging into the palms of my hands

I will say what needs to be said

In a calm manner

Till then, you need to leave

say nothing

Because the pounding in my ears

Drown out every word you say

Dirty Bastard (POEM) (Slam Poetry)

You said that you wanted me.

It’s hard to believe.

With your head between her thighs,

And you holding her knees.

Not once did you glance up,

To see that I’m there.

With your head held in place,

As she’s pulling your hair.

You said that you need me.

Stupid I know.

Even those who can’t see.

Know you like ho’s.

Is it her fault?

Where you place face at.

Didn’t anyone tell you,

That they had her kitty cat.

There’s a new question,

And it makes me sick.

Did she even wash up,

Or you’re drinking his ick.

I hope you paid for it.

Paid her real well.

That was the last you’ll get.

I won’t pay your bail.

But there’s no need,

For my hands to get dirty.

What’s that I hear?

It’s her 11:30.

Hubby.

(I wanted to change it up a bit. What do you think? Let me know Fia xoxo)