What’s on my mind

There are days I feel like I spread myself too thin, like butter on dried toast. You know how the heat from the toast just melts it in the crevasse. Then there are days I feel like I am the tube of butter a one slice of toast couldn’t melt me in its wildest dreams. lol

What an opening, just to say I have a lot on my plate. I have finished the third edition of my Hypo Frost magazine, and I have created an online bookstore where I import books myself. On top of that, I am running a poetry and writing site.

What is wrong with me? lol

I am a writer. I love creating worlds in my mind or doing twisted things to people in this world. My poetry is free-flowing thoughts and emotions. In one year, I wrote over 500 poems. some long, some short, but all mine. Well a few I did with a partner.

I guess I can be convincing if I want to collaborate on poetry and stories. Why am I writing this? I just need to write. I wanted to give you all an update and at the same time just write my thoughts as it tumbles out.

As
words
trickle
down
from
a
mind
consumed
with
thought,

One wonders with the flow stop, and will the pool stay still stagnant?

I will keep going till the water stops flowing. I hope you do too. fire starters.

Unjust Jealousy

Unjust jealousy
has taken over me
I cannot believe
that you cannot see
that he is for me

I will channel this rage
as my pen flies across the page
There is no smoke or sage
That will bless what is coming in spades

You need to understand
When this woman claims that man
He is taken in hand
No judge or jury can command

So, since an education is required
Pull up a seat as this transpires
You see those lips
those hands
that Chest
I can say more, but I will say less

It’s funny how men think we will not fight
Allow them to go to this one or that one during the night
But what is mine will never be out of my sight
Either tied or chained sounds delicious, right

You can’t handle what is right next to me
You’re too young, too inexperienced, too full of Glee
You see, when the lights are dim or even red and sinewy
You couldn’t even do what he requires of me

There’s something that comes with age and time
You would have to be taught, but not by what’s mine
The young green grape hangs loosely on the vine
Is not much of a delicacy until it’s turned into wine

Now go away, little mouse, and eat someone else’s cheese
They may like what you have, and you wouldn’t be on your knees
Oh, that was harsh. Forgive me please
I think you understand now, you finally see

Death Watch

My skin hurts. It feels like they’re ripping it off my bones—sliver by sliver. I can’t scream anymore. My voice left me an hour after they started. They said that once it’s done, I’ll be a changed person. Yeah, it changed all right, because once they set me free. I’m going to kill every single one of these fuckers

Five Days of Life Left

The room smelled of sugar and sweet peaches. I did not want to bother Amanda as she slept, but she knew sweet scents turn me on. Watching her sleep with her lips parted, and her light snoring made me smile.

Looking down and seeing her nipple peeking through the spaghetti strap top made me want to wake her up the way she likes it.

I bent down and took that wicked nipple in my mouth, swirled my tongue around,d and sucked it in. Her breathing changed, but she was not awake. I glided my hand up her inner thigh, meeting a little resistance.

‘Fine, you do not want me to go that way,’ I thought, slipping my hand around the back and cupping her ass. She made a little moan. She moved her leg a little to give me access, and all this while she was still sleeping.

She felt so warm and wet. I continued torturing that nipple, and I found my way inside those shorts. I could be a beast and just go inside her. But she was so sweet lately. I parted her folds and took her slick heat and rubbed that greedy clit of hers.

She was breathing faster. Her eyes were moving back and forth as if she were having the best dream.

I stopped circling and waited till she showed me her sign that she was ready. Opening her legs and the whimper. Damn, she whimpers so beautifully..

‘Okay, baby, I am going to give you what you need. Even in your sleep,’ I thought.

I slid two fingers in her hot channel and found her spot. I knew it like I knew my name. Pushing in and out and rotating my finger, she was panting. The sweet smell and the natural smell of her filled my nose, and I wanted to taste her everywhere. 

But she’s asleep, and I like her cuming and watching me.  I stopped sucking her nipple and pinched her other nipple. Her eyes flew open, and the look she gave me. Priceless.

“Please..please” She whispered as she fucked my fingers.

I know her clit is begging for my mouth. But no. I want it to stay throbbing and wanting me all day. Instead, I turned my wrist a little and played with her tight hole. She was so wet she dripped back, and I lightly pushed in.

She was never taken back there, but we were going to on our anniversary. She was so receptive.

“No, not ready.” She whimpered

I pinched her nipple again. “No more speaking,” I fucked her harder with my fingers and added a third.

“You want to cum, bab,y” I asked, and I can feel myself wanting her to want me so badly she could almost hate me. Almost.

“Yes..Yes please”

I can feel her tightening and almost there. I am the sadistic person that I am. I pulled out and left the bed.

“Don’t you dare cum. Don’t touch yourself. That’s mine.” I said, looking over my shoulder.

She took the pillow and screamed into it. Yeah, she’ll think of me all day. Clit throbbing, pussy spasming, and the hint of the forbidden.

I went to take a shower, and I could hear the bathroom door open.

“What the fuck? You leave me like this?”

“Yes”

“Yes? That is all you’re going to say?”

I looked at her and smiled. “Yes”

We have been together for a while, and I told her that I get in funny moods. It had never appeared before, but it’s her,e and I don’t know if she can handle it.

“You do that shit again, you sleep on the couch.”

I laughed as she stormed out. Then I heard it. The fucking vibrator. “Bitch”

I walked out wet. Took the toy out of her hand and away from that fucking clit and threw it out the window.

“What the Fuck”

“Don’t test me. Get dressed and go to work.”

‘I need…”

“I know, and I want you to need me. Get dressed.”

I went back to the shower, finished, and went to the kitchen. Amanda came out, face red, a look of “I hate you” in her eyes.

“What you said, you can handle me.”

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the apartment. Maybe I went too far? Nope, not far enough.

Afternoon

After I got dressed in my usual white shirt, black pants, and black flat shoes, I grabbed my long pea coat and keys and left my apartment.

She will probably not speak to me for a week, and strangely enough, I was okay with that. She decided that she wanted to open our relationship to other people. I told her no, but she went out of her way to try to convince me.

Of course, we had amazing sex last night, but the thought of someone else taking what was mine made me mean. She used sex for me to say yes, and I used lack of it to make her pay.

Five years and she wanted another. Stopping at my usual coffee cart, I ordered my coffee and a butter roll. It was 28 degrees in New York, but I still felt the chill on the back of my neck. Looking around the street, it looked normal. 

People are rushing to the subway or the bus stop. Horns honking to make the left turn on the main street, and Agnas sitting on the cardboard wrapped up in a blanket asking for money for the day. I called the homeless division to come and get her. She stays out here, she is going to die.

My attention went back to the cart, and I grabbed my order. Walking past the private school, I felt the chill again. I looked to the left, and I saw this man staring at me as he lifted the gate to the legal cannabus shop. He lifted his chin to say hi, and I lifted my coffee in response.

The feeling was not coming from him. Who is walking over my grave? That’s what they used to say when you felt like this. I went into the familiar place that I had control over. My office. I am a hired photographer. It’s just that I am hired to incriminate people more than to make them look good.

I work with all divisions of the department. It took years to get them to trust me. Walking in I was greeted by Ethan. He was part-time and a cheap receptionist. 

“You have bills on your desk, and this was just dropped off.”

I stopped breathing the minute I saw it. The black envelope. 

“It’s weird, but there is no writing on it, and the person said you would know how to read it.” Ethan was way too excited. He loved mystery novels.

“Can I see what it said?”

I snatched the envelope, went into the office, and slammed the door. I did not need to read it. I knew the words by heart.

I took the black paper out of the envelope, went to the bathroom toilet, propped the paper in and let the cold water wet the paper.

It read

“You are cordially invited to your wedding. Be there at eight. The wedding will promptly follow. No need for RSVP. 

P.S. Show or you will die.”

Shit, I hate my life. I can not run because they will find me. By tomorrow night, I will be Nia Lin Barbatus. The wife of Colin Barbatus, the head of the Roman family in New York. The chill I felt was me being watched. 

His people are called the Death Watch. I am now on their list. The paper disintegrated and I flushed it.

Hey fire starters I know I am off and on. The ignitor needed mor fluid. lol. I hope you like this. Let me know

Tears

Would someone cry a lifetime of tears?
If you no longer exist?
This pain needed a catalyst.
And it was you….

Pain caused by the thing
in your chest you call a heart
that claims to beat
but refuses to sleep
refuses to soften
refuses to shut the fuck up

and keep reachin
for some kinda touch
you say it’s lust
but you flinch
when they kiss you
say it’s love
but you bite down
every time they get close
say it’s damnation
but you’re the one
holdin the match
smilin while it all burns

You want to take me to your hell
You want me to feel what?
Pity
Another day, another lifetime maybe
I guess you will have to wait for those tears.

15% Given

I stifled myself in front of your eyes

 I pulled back so much so I can get your “Hi’s”

 Sitting in this corner and watching you all be you

 I would love to be the true me too

 But I have given my word and I will only give 15%, as I sigh

 15% is not much in this whole big pie

Like a Vine that crawls and creeps on walls and in the dark

 I have found other places where I can light the inner spark

 So, I will give you what sensibilities will allow

 And when I need the darkness, I will go away just for now

Dantea’s Level of Hell (End)

Unlocking the door
Greeted by the sound of trickling water

Thoughts unparalleled to match the hunger
Feet move on their own accord

Pushed open the door to watch
Lathered skin with tracks of rippled water, cascading down

Again, our eyes meet
Continue,”  I say breathlessly 

Your body reacts to the order
As if it had muscle memory from before

Strong hands glide down
The very movement is tormenting me

You pause being defiant
I move lethally towards you

“You take it, and stroke it. Or I will”
Not caring that my blouse is becoming transparent

Slowly at first
Base to tip
Gripping harder
Slide back up
Repeat

Breathing increased
So does the stroke pattern

Removing  my belt
Hitting his hand away

“Turn around, hands behind you’re back”
On command, he follows

Restraining his hands to remove temptation
“You want release, but I do not want that for you.

I want it for me.
Do you understand?”

I turn around and walk out the door.
As we go into the night

Bringing him close and refusing release
When I see he cannot take anymore

I take what is mine?
Every bit of him

He asked for my hell, not knowing what hell I had in store for him.
This is only level 2. Shall we continue?

(Okay, fire starters, how did I do with this mini series? Edged you all the way to the end. Let me know what you think.)