Online Only (Poem)

I did not see it coming  
Your arrival was like a feather floating on the breeze  
A low hum of your name  
Then it started to nag at me  
 
I looked  
Why did I look?  
Hooked on words  
Your words …  
 
I raged and condemned  
Could not let them see  
They would all see  
 
I am bending  
Breaking  
I will tell…..  
No, I will demand  
Cease and desist!  
 
I’M NOT READY!
 
Secretly, I have goals  
Goals with cobwebs  
But they are my goals  
 
What is this?  
What does it mean?  
It’s not the right time  
It has to be a dream  
 
I’m excited  
I can feel my heart again  
 
I’m scared  
I can feel my heart again  
 
I can do this.  
There is no choice in the matter  
My heart decided the minute  
Your name became the chatter  
 
Moving in close  
I said and did More than I thought I would  
If this should end  
I did the best that I could  
 
Living for the moment  
Helps me go through the day  
Even though it’s online  
I gave my heart away.