What’s on my mind

There are days I feel like I spread myself too thin, like butter on dried toast. You know how the heat from the toast just melts it in the crevasse. Then there are days I feel like I am the tube of butter a one slice of toast couldn’t melt me in its wildest dreams. lol

What an opening, just to say I have a lot on my plate. I have finished the third edition of my Hypo Frost magazine, and I have created an online bookstore where I import books myself. On top of that, I am running a poetry and writing site.

What is wrong with me? lol

I am a writer. I love creating worlds in my mind or doing twisted things to people in this world. My poetry is free-flowing thoughts and emotions. In one year, I wrote over 500 poems. some long, some short, but all mine. Well a few I did with a partner.

I guess I can be convincing if I want to collaborate on poetry and stories. Why am I writing this? I just need to write. I wanted to give you all an update and at the same time just write my thoughts as it tumbles out.

As
words
trickle
down
from
a
mind
consumed
with
thought,

One wonders with the flow stop, and will the pool stay still stagnant?

I will keep going till the water stops flowing. I hope you do too. fire starters.

Poetic Voyeur

Why am I drawn to your writing?

I’m not sure myself.

 Is it because I can see the damage and every word

Or is it that I can see you 

See, you get so engulfed in every word 

To make your point come across?

It’s my own form of voyeurism. 

You’re so open in a different way.

Do you pull your hair and get aggravated 

When you can’t get the right words

Or when you’re writing something salacious, 

do you put the phone down? So no one can see? 

Maybe you could close the book. When you feel, 

your ears are turning red from what your mind created 

To see the human body and all its splendor on the outside.

 Is deliciousI 

I will not deny that

But to see what’s inside the mind is so damn sexy.

I like to watch as you toil around thoughts

.And then present it to me

Do you give secret notes away?

I’m a greedy bitch

Is it wrong for my beast to stir when you do

As I read the pulse in my neck begins to beat fast

Breathing air is difficult

When did air become thick

I feel my heart start to stutter

Not realizing I stop breathing altogether

It’s a drug, the words

Sweet then dangerous

A tender kiss to open one up

Then the moment a moan escapes

The world slips away

It’s just the words

The ache

The  need

Half-hooded eyes

Blown pupils

Inner heat

Created by the poet

When it all comes to an end

I’m left with the tremors

I’ll wait until the next

Poetic piece

The question is…

When can I …

Have more

Death Watch

My skin hurts. It feels like they’re ripping it off my bones—sliver by sliver. I can’t scream anymore. My voice left me an hour after they started. They said that once it’s done, I’ll be a changed person. Yeah, it changed all right, because once they set me free. I’m going to kill every single one of these fuckers

Five Days of Life Left

The room smelled of sugar and sweet peaches. I did not want to bother Amanda as she slept, but she knew sweet scents turn me on. Watching her sleep with her lips parted, and her light snoring made me smile.

Looking down and seeing her nipple peeking through the spaghetti strap top made me want to wake her up the way she likes it.

I bent down and took that wicked nipple in my mouth, swirled my tongue around,d and sucked it in. Her breathing changed, but she was not awake. I glided my hand up her inner thigh, meeting a little resistance.

‘Fine, you do not want me to go that way,’ I thought, slipping my hand around the back and cupping her ass. She made a little moan. She moved her leg a little to give me access, and all this while she was still sleeping.

She felt so warm and wet. I continued torturing that nipple, and I found my way inside those shorts. I could be a beast and just go inside her. But she was so sweet lately. I parted her folds and took her slick heat and rubbed that greedy clit of hers.

She was breathing faster. Her eyes were moving back and forth as if she were having the best dream.

I stopped circling and waited till she showed me her sign that she was ready. Opening her legs and the whimper. Damn, she whimpers so beautifully..

‘Okay, baby, I am going to give you what you need. Even in your sleep,’ I thought.

I slid two fingers in her hot channel and found her spot. I knew it like I knew my name. Pushing in and out and rotating my finger, she was panting. The sweet smell and the natural smell of her filled my nose, and I wanted to taste her everywhere. 

But she’s asleep, and I like her cuming and watching me.  I stopped sucking her nipple and pinched her other nipple. Her eyes flew open, and the look she gave me. Priceless.

“Please..please” She whispered as she fucked my fingers.

I know her clit is begging for my mouth. But no. I want it to stay throbbing and wanting me all day. Instead, I turned my wrist a little and played with her tight hole. She was so wet she dripped back, and I lightly pushed in.

She was never taken back there, but we were going to on our anniversary. She was so receptive.

“No, not ready.” She whimpered

I pinched her nipple again. “No more speaking,” I fucked her harder with my fingers and added a third.

“You want to cum, bab,y” I asked, and I can feel myself wanting her to want me so badly she could almost hate me. Almost.

“Yes..Yes please”

I can feel her tightening and almost there. I am the sadistic person that I am. I pulled out and left the bed.

“Don’t you dare cum. Don’t touch yourself. That’s mine.” I said, looking over my shoulder.

She took the pillow and screamed into it. Yeah, she’ll think of me all day. Clit throbbing, pussy spasming, and the hint of the forbidden.

I went to take a shower, and I could hear the bathroom door open.

“What the fuck? You leave me like this?”

“Yes”

“Yes? That is all you’re going to say?”

I looked at her and smiled. “Yes”

We have been together for a while, and I told her that I get in funny moods. It had never appeared before, but it’s her,e and I don’t know if she can handle it.

“You do that shit again, you sleep on the couch.”

I laughed as she stormed out. Then I heard it. The fucking vibrator. “Bitch”

I walked out wet. Took the toy out of her hand and away from that fucking clit and threw it out the window.

“What the Fuck”

“Don’t test me. Get dressed and go to work.”

‘I need…”

“I know, and I want you to need me. Get dressed.”

I went back to the shower, finished, and went to the kitchen. Amanda came out, face red, a look of “I hate you” in her eyes.

“What you said, you can handle me.”

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the apartment. Maybe I went too far? Nope, not far enough.

Afternoon

After I got dressed in my usual white shirt, black pants, and black flat shoes, I grabbed my long pea coat and keys and left my apartment.

She will probably not speak to me for a week, and strangely enough, I was okay with that. She decided that she wanted to open our relationship to other people. I told her no, but she went out of her way to try to convince me.

Of course, we had amazing sex last night, but the thought of someone else taking what was mine made me mean. She used sex for me to say yes, and I used lack of it to make her pay.

Five years and she wanted another. Stopping at my usual coffee cart, I ordered my coffee and a butter roll. It was 28 degrees in New York, but I still felt the chill on the back of my neck. Looking around the street, it looked normal. 

People are rushing to the subway or the bus stop. Horns honking to make the left turn on the main street, and Agnas sitting on the cardboard wrapped up in a blanket asking for money for the day. I called the homeless division to come and get her. She stays out here, she is going to die.

My attention went back to the cart, and I grabbed my order. Walking past the private school, I felt the chill again. I looked to the left, and I saw this man staring at me as he lifted the gate to the legal cannabus shop. He lifted his chin to say hi, and I lifted my coffee in response.

The feeling was not coming from him. Who is walking over my grave? That’s what they used to say when you felt like this. I went into the familiar place that I had control over. My office. I am a hired photographer. It’s just that I am hired to incriminate people more than to make them look good.

I work with all divisions of the department. It took years to get them to trust me. Walking in I was greeted by Ethan. He was part-time and a cheap receptionist. 

“You have bills on your desk, and this was just dropped off.”

I stopped breathing the minute I saw it. The black envelope. 

“It’s weird, but there is no writing on it, and the person said you would know how to read it.” Ethan was way too excited. He loved mystery novels.

“Can I see what it said?”

I snatched the envelope, went into the office, and slammed the door. I did not need to read it. I knew the words by heart.

I took the black paper out of the envelope, went to the bathroom toilet, propped the paper in and let the cold water wet the paper.

It read

“You are cordially invited to your wedding. Be there at eight. The wedding will promptly follow. No need for RSVP. 

P.S. Show or you will die.”

Shit, I hate my life. I can not run because they will find me. By tomorrow night, I will be Nia Lin Barbatus. The wife of Colin Barbatus, the head of the Roman family in New York. The chill I felt was me being watched. 

His people are called the Death Watch. I am now on their list. The paper disintegrated and I flushed it.

Hey fire starters I know I am off and on. The ignitor needed mor fluid. lol. I hope you like this. Let me know

Musing

I have been questioned if I don’t see
What is going on before me
It’s been said that people are afraid to write
 because the stars are not sitting quite right

They want to remove or put it in a box,
 Specific themes should be behind locks
I am silent more than I write
because I have so many things to do at night

Why I will not shut the door
restrain others from saying anything more
freedom of speech and of words
Freedom that is being fought for but is not heard

I tend not to write about politics and religion, you see
A lot of my views will confuse and not sit right with thee
I see the pain of those who write
They wait for comments, but they refuse to comment on others’ writes

Again, popularity is not the theme
All we want is to be read and be seen
I was told, “I don’t want them to say a word.”
Afraid they will not understand their words

I was told you’re being a prude
Let me express what I want
Now my words are misconstrued

So here it goes, I am going to say what I have to say
Because my mind is going this way

Write

Write about pain

Write about love

Write about feeling you’re going insane

Write about god or gods above

Write about what you see

Write about how things should be

Write about sex

Write about what comes next

Write about your fear of death

Write about the medication withdrawl

Write about you no longer walk but you still crawl

There is no lock on this door
No chains are bolting you to the floor
You think I do not see
You think I do not read

I am one out of many here to say
Your words have power
Do you understand what I say

If you reach one
Why must it be
That 1
Should be three

Fia is in more places and faces than you know

If you need me, I will do my best to show

(Hello, my fire starters. I hope you are well. I have been busy working on Stars Rite. Its funny how you can never please everyone, yet I still try)

Cock Delusion

Him

You want to talk or…
You want to you know…
We can skip the…

Her

Why is it when you want to fuck
your vocabulary vanishes?
Your ability to string a sentence together
must be connect to your balls

Him

Why are you being so…
I treat you so sweet….

Her

There you go again
Maybe your jizz needs to be tested
Maybe you hold the breakthrough we
need to move the IQ score up

Him

Jeez you are making it hard to speak
You make it hard to concentrate

Her

Ahh, I make it hard
real hard or is your vocabulary stuck on hard?
You need the pressure to go somewhere?
You need assistance?

Him

Yes baby, Yes

Her

Baby??

You need to say something that would entice me to come close, unbutton your pants and let out that hard cock

Him swallowing

Her

Come, come say something

Him

Just let me into that perfectly pink perfection of a pussy so I can cum and get my head what it wants

Her

Your cock is delusional.

(Hey, fire starters felt like joking around tonight. lol)

Dontea’s Level of Hell pt 2 (English)

I will wait
For time is neither fast nor slow

You will be here
in my bed, on the floor, against the wall

There is no place
That is more sacred than in me

Moving past the insignificant wasp
I watch you ingesting the fluidity of muscle

If it were in me, I would whimper
Like an animal that lost its precious toy

We both will wait
tormented by societal norm’s

Meaningless words
said out of an insignificant mouth

Your mouth is what is need
Your soul is mine to bend

“You will not speak of this to a soul,” I whispered
Riding my untamed stallion to completion

Once my name is uttered
Then you are openly mine

There is a circle
Within the circle, things are done
Things are said
Things that are better off dead

You have entered my circle
My Hell

Pleasure intense and relentless
is a hell on the body and mind

I must control my savagery
Innocents is best taken slowly

In secret, I enjoy my own release
No one else will enter this inner sanctum

…To be Continued….

Dontea’s Level of Hell (Spanish)


En el momento en que te vi Supe de quién eran esos labios

Te pusiste en mi camino Como una maldita prueba, sabiendo muy bien que no la pasaré

Otros pululan y prueban lo que es mío Créeme cuando te digo que eres mía

Me quedo en las sombras y observo El placer que me quitas al rechazar su tacto

Ocultas la marca Mi marca que acaricias con toda tu fuerza. ¿Crees que no te estoy mirando cada vez?

Te observo mientras aguantas la respiración Luego vuelves a la realidad, sintiéndome cerca de ti

Deseas

Anhelas

Recuerdas

De nuevo, vienen a ti Polillas queriendo ser quemadas

Queriendo un poco de mi copa Inhalo con furia

Recuerdas

El calor de mi lengua traza La línea… oculta a la vista

El recuerdo

Arremolinándose Luego subiendo y bajando sobre la suave piel

Gimiendo

Sigue subiendo hasta la corona Mmm, brillando con un solo diamante Esperando mi adoración

Ahora

Hay una avispa persistente Atrayéndote hacia su abrazo

El calor aumenta. Registrando en la escala Richter del infierno

Necesita ser aniquilada Convertida en polvo, dejando sus alas a su paso

“Ven y prueba mi dulzura”, Un deseo de ser tentadora Un pie fuera de las sombras

Nuestras miradas se encuentran “

¡No!”

Retrocediendo y sabiendo Mis entrañas arden por ti

…Continuará…