Goodbye My Lover pt 20 (The Question)


It’s been hours since I left Noel at the shop, and I had time to think about what I admitted to him.

What is going on with me?  We were just together, and it should end. I know it should end. That is what people do but I seem to not want it to end. I want more.

When I got back to my place I decided to go for a run. I need to get my head clear and I haven’t run in a while, I expect to feel pain. Honestly, I want the pain maybe it will clear my head and I can put what I am feeling in perspective.

I changed into my designated running outfit, A pair of shorts and a runner’s tank top. Grabbed my sneakers from underneath my bed put them on did a few stretches and went for my run.

I ran a total of five miles when I ended. My body felt warmed and pushed to  its limit. I did feel a rush of endorphins going through me and I savored it.

I went up to my place to see my phone flashing, I don’t carry my phone on runs because I want to disconnect from it all. I want peace and quiet.

I lifted my phone and I see a message from Noel.

“Hey, are you free tonight? I tried to call you, but it goes straight to voice mail. I would like for us to talk.”

I looked at the message and I think, ‘I want to talk. I would like more clarity on him and whatever we are doing.’ I text back.

“Yeah, I am free tonight. Went for a run that’s why you could not reach me. Come by at seven.”

I hit send and wait for a response. It came back immediately.

“Seven, it is.” Noel said.

I put my phone down and it was only one. My stomach started to let me know that I have not eaten, and the run probably kicked up my appetite a notch.

I went to my fringe and took out a pasta bowl I had and popped it in the microwave. I went to take a shower and made it as hot as I could to relax the muscles on my body.

I closed my eyes, and I can see Noel. The way he looked last night and how he went over the edge with that little bit of blood I gave him. I looked at my thumb and seen the healing red slit. It didn’t hurt. Well, it did before but after he put it in his mouth, it didn’t.

I shook my head and proceeded to get cleaned up.

It was still early after I ate, and the adrenaline rush died down. I went to lay down for a little bit. I was startled awake by knocking and I looked at the time on my phone and it was seven.

I got up looked at the mirror and I looked like I just got up. I needed to wash my face and comb my hair quickly.

“Hold on. I’ll be right there.” I went and washed my face and combed my hair. I even added a bit of lip gloss.

I went to open the door and Noel looked amazing.

“Did you have a good nap?” He asked then smiled.

I was not going to be embarrassed. “Yes, I did.” I said and smiled at him. “Come inside.”

He came in and when he walked by his cologne lingered making me sway towards him, it is so intoxicating. He sat on the couch and looked at me.

I sat near him but with a little distance. Something felt heavy between us.

“Before you say anything. I want to say that I am sorry about the way I acted at the shop. I never hear of the illness and my brain went on panic mode. Also, the statement of you biting me was way out of line.”

Noel sat there looking at with a slight smile.

“No need to apologize. I would like to continue to see you, but you do need to know somethings about me before you agree.”

I sat there and automatically my hands folded awaited to hear what he wanted to say.

“There will be a time that I will want to bite you. I will never do it without your consent, but it will be asked.  Also, I do not like sharing.”

“Sharing?” I gave him a questioning look.

“It will have to be exclusive. Just you and me. I would smell another on you so if you lie. I will know and I am the jealous type.” He said trying to keep is calm exterior under check.

I was taking this in. He wants to be with me exclusively.

“Along with the occasional bite. I do like other more nontraditional sexual activity.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whatever you are thinking is probably what I mean. My appetite has evolved, and I do not want to hide that part of myself with my–”

“Your?” I pushed.

“Partenair–Partner. So, I am asking you to think about what I am asking you.”

I sat there and thought, ‘Did he ask me to be his girlfriend? Was that the moment? I have to get it together.’

“Noel you have not asked me anything. You just made a statement. Was that French?” I asked him falling into a role of a woman who is in complete control.

This was the first time I actually seem him a bit uneasy. Was he nervous that I would turn him down.

“Your right. Darlene I would like to see you exclusively. Would you want that?” He sat there waiting for a response.

I sat there a minute to think it over. It would change how people view me. I really don’t care. I moved here and the only thing that I have going for me is my friends. If I can still call them that.  I took a deep breath and said,” I would like that.”

“Good because I want to kiss you the minute, I came in.” He said before he pressed his lips against mine. The space between us was eliminated. The kiss was cementing the agreement, but I wanted more.

I pulled away first seeing that he had no intention of stopping by the way he was kissing my neck.

“Noel?” I said a breathy

He stopped and looked up at me. “Have you changed your mind?”

“No, it’s just.” I want to tell him that I have only had sex one way. That I would be a disappointment if we did something tonight.

“Darlene I will not ask anything from you tonight.” He said smiling then licking his bottom lip.

“But I should go.”

‘Wait, what just happened?’ I thought.

“I need to do somethings tonight. I would like to see you tomorrow.” He said waiting and his eyes drifted to my mouth.

“What time?”

“Around five. I want you to come to my home.”

My heart was already beating fast but now I could not time it.

I smiled and nodded my consent. He stood up and pulled me up with him.

I walked him to the door, and he turned to kiss me again. This time slower more controlled. Like a pot on a stove simmering. He pulled away and whispered, “Bring an overnight bag. I’ll get you to work on time.”

He stepped away and walked out the door. I was in a relationship with a nighter. Not just any nighter either, Noel.



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